Every Child Deserves to Giggle

As we enter the waters of adopting from foster care, adopting a child that's not a baby, who may have minor or not-so-minor behavioral and developmental or health issues, I try to imagine what that would be like. In my crazy, race-to-get-it-done-or-you'll-be-sorry life, learning how to love two kids and a husband and take care of a home and a budget (that if it had one more hole would surely sink like a torpedoed battleship), how in the world would I be able to take the time to right all the wrongs a typical foster child has endured? How can I give them the undivided attention that their wounded little hearts need when I am scurrying around with bottles and diapers, coloring books and laundry? Would I have to give up some of the precious moments that I absolutely relish with my quickly-growing, angel-eyed boy? I guess I don't worry about my four-year-old as much because I see how resilient, as well as how independent she is. And because of the fact that she, almost daily, asks for a sister:)

Something happened yesterday that gave me a new perspective on this matter. As we sat it church, singing a hymn, the song leader made a funny comment, and some chuckles rippled through the congregation. LuLu put her little hand over her mouth and giggled. I don't know if she really understood the comment and why it was funny. She may have; she's smart. However, as she sat there, in her pretty pink dress, squished between mom and dad, all three of us on a total of two chairs, not because we had to, either, that moment was about more than a funny comment. As she sat there, happy, mouthing the words of the song as she watched my mouth to make sure she was keeping up, I saw what every child in the world wants and deserves to have...the knowledge that they are precious. She knows she's loved, admired and safe. Her little face glowed with the reflection of all the most basic and natural love she felt coming from her mom and dad. Something that is so basic to healthy development, and yet, in our world, it seems, so very rare.

I believe for every child you see that is happy and nurtured, there are many more, hundreds, maybe thousands, that desperately want what that child has. To feel safe. To feel loved. To have a place of belonging, where they feel totally safe and totally, unconditionally loved.

That moment that I described with Lu, in church, brought tears to my eyes. Like a tiny arrow had been shot into my heart, piercing it. Every child deserves to giggle like that. Opening their sweet mouths and bubbling over with pure, sweet joy. Each little girl or boy out there, who can't giggle like that, who feels they have to hide their emotions because of trauma, or has to present a tough front to the world because they have learned that they have to scare off attacks, deserves to be put into a family that can give them security and nurture. It's not a question of "Am I up to the challenge?", rather it's "Do they deserve the effort?" The answer is quite obvious, I think.

I think part of what makes me hold back, just a bit, some of my reservation is based on the horror stories. However, as bad as it can get, dealing with the past trauma of a child who has gone through multiple placements, not to mention the actual abuse that caused them to be removed from their birth home, I do believe there is hope for each child. How can we say that a child is beyond redemption? As serious as any psychological damage is, how can we say or assume that an abusive adult can, by their actions or lack of attention, destroy that child's entire chance at happiness, now and in the future? If there is no hope for the abused and damaged child, then really, there is not much hope for anything.

I'm excited to begin the research process again. When we were waiting for Harrison, last year, I was reading, reading, reading. Trying to absorb as much information as I could to be the best possible adoptive mother. To be the best possible mother. I feel a bit different now. Now I have witnessed God placing a little, perfect angel with our family. I say perfect because he does have the most angelic eyes, but also because he was made to be a member of our family. He fits in perfectly. If I knew, without a doubt, that God was going to place another so perfectly-fitting child into our family, wouldn't I be eager for that moment? Do I really think that God is leading us to care for a child we can't love or that cannot love us? Is that even possible? I've never met a kid I couldn't love, and I have met hundreds!

So again(as in our previous adoption adventure), we're down to the trust factor. When you offer up your family, your time, your home as an adoptive parent, you do take a risk. You risk the balance of your family. I believe you do that any time you add a member, whether biologically or through adoption. So, the question is, what's there to worry about? If God put me here, if God gave me this desire, if He blesses us with a child that fits our specifications and the necessary funds to make the match, then really, what do I have to worry about? NOT A THING. Will He punish us for obeying, or will He, ultimately, bless us? Are children a blessing? I believe the answer to that question is a resounding YES! If only for the fact that you get one more person to love and cuddle, and nothing feels better than a heart full to the brim of love.

So, here's our update...remember those???:) We will be finalizing some time in late April or early May. Mere formality, we already tore up the receipt:) Then, we plan on doing our pre-adoptive training, which, by law, we have to do before we can adopt a waiting child. 16 hours, to be specific. Our plan, since we don't leave Harrison for that much time yet, is to do it separately, so that one of us can be with him IF.....the children we are interested in (yes, more than one) are still available. I'm not going to say anything more specific than that, because picking babies off of photolistings is a risky business. There are NO guarantees. Otherwise, if those sweet kids end up not being available, then we will wait till fall when we can do the training together, and for free with our agency, which we love. And then we will be back on the list, but maybe not back on the roller coaster??? My goal is to put God's will first, and to not get attached to the idea of anybody. There's enough time to do that once we bring her/him/them home:) We'll see what I'm saying and feeling 6 months from now.

Perhaps a door opening just a crack, a sign if you will, is that something I've been praying for for a LONG time has finally happened. This will allow me to, potentially, have more time to spend with a newly adopted child, along with the other two spoiled ones:) Our plan is to keep walking through open doors and follow the challenging, beautiful path our Lord has laid out for us, before the beginning of time. I just know He has some amazing adventures in store for our little ship!