Baby I has been matched with another family. We just found out this morning. There are three situations in TX that we can be shown for, and our caseworker is going to be sending our info to an agency in Utah. Also, I did some research on my own and found a situation of a birth mom in Kansas that looks like a possibility (just waiting to hear from her caseworker) and also on a photolisting website, I found a baby girl that was just listed, and inquired about her (probably along with 45,000 other hopeful adoptive moms:))
In the meantime, we've finished yet another application for financial aid, I think this is our 6th that we've applied for and are also working on another one this week (that would be our 7th.) It's so great that there are so many foundations out there that want to help!
Through this process, I have learned that when you want something from God, a baby in our case, you don't whine and complain and act sorry for yourself. You present your request at the throne of Grace and then praise Him. If my daughter did that, I would never be able to refuse her anything!!! God is teaching me how to wait for the desires of my heart graciously, even when I feel like it's the most ridiculous thing to wait for, since all around the world children are suffering from the want of a parent or two. I do not understand, but I sing and wait. Psalm 71:14 "But as for me, I will hope continually, and will praise Thee yet more and more." Love this!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
The Plain Facts
Ok, so we're back to waiting to hear about Baby I, we'll call him, in FL. Remember, he's 19 months old and in foster care, waiting for his forever family. Today the people in charge of him (there are many) will have a meeting and put the four families in a list of whom they would most likely place him with. They could throw some families out all together as well. Hopefully, we will hear something today or tomorrow. We have a photo of this little guy and he is CUTE! He has some issues he has to work through, based on the fact that he didn't get medical care as a developing preemie, but nothing major as long as his therapies are successful.
Also, there are three situations in TX we can be shown for. They will each cost $19,000 which is a number that we're comfortable with, but wouldn't be able to use one of our grants for, so we would still need to come up with an extra $7,000. We could take out a loan and survive that, but the interest rates are high (8-15%) so we will continue applying for grants/no interest loans and hopefully squeeze in one more fundraiser.
We did receive a wonderful gift yesterday of $5,000. I feel like we are a non-profit organization when I talk about adoption funds, so forgive me if I am too revealing in all this. I just wish to encourage all you who are praying and those who may someday wish to adopt.
Here's where we stand right now financially...most adoptions that we've seen will end up costing about $20,000...we've seen three that were $10,000 or under, so that's always a possibility. However, there are also travel costs to consider, post placement fees (anywhere from $900-$2,000) and finalization costs (up to $10,000 in some cases.) So what I'm saying is, any amount that we raise is helpful and even when we reach our "goal" there will most likely be more needed.
The Breakdown of what we have now:GGAM Matching Grant $4774 (we need $113 for this grant to be fully matched)
MICAH fund matching grant $0 (they will match up to $2000)
$1300 in savings (gift money)
$7,000 if/when we need it, from generous family:)
This leaves a need for the MICAH grant to be matched, and once that is accomplished, a $7,000 deficit till we reach just over $20,000.
Still waiting to here from Show Hope and Kaitlyn's Fund granting agencies, mailing in an application tomorrow for a no-interest, low payment adoption loan from ABBA fund (this would be a huge blessing to get!!) And will be applying to Elijah's Truth next week...I can only do one application at a time, or I start losing important documents and my mind.
Ways you can help:1. Pray that we would be awarded the right grants or loans. Pray that our baby would come home before Christmas!!! Pray that our hearts, minds, bodies and souls would be ready to love and nurture this child no matter what needs he/she may have.
2. If you feel led, give by clicking the donate button to the right. Even if we end up doing a low cost ($10,000 or under) adoption, we will still need help for airfare, hotel stay(s) (while we wait to take baby home), car rental, post placement fees and finalization (the legal part to becoming the child's parents.)
3. Ideas for a benefit or fundraiser that could give a final boost to what we've raised so far.
4. Letting us talk to you about our adoption. Our hearts are full, so whenever there's something you want to know, or if you just feel nice enough to have us talk your leg off, just ask!!
While I feel that our need is pretty great at this point, there are thousands of other adoptive couples out there needing the same financial help. I would encourage you to consider adoption, but if you can't help in that way, to give to those who want to. There are some wonderful ways to give, and if you don't know anyone personally, consider giving to a granting agency! Some great ones are God's Grace Adoption Ministry, MICAH fund, Elijah's Truth and the ABBA fund. There are many, many more. What is the sacrifice when you consider what you are doing for one or many precious, helpless, children?
Also, there are three situations in TX we can be shown for. They will each cost $19,000 which is a number that we're comfortable with, but wouldn't be able to use one of our grants for, so we would still need to come up with an extra $7,000. We could take out a loan and survive that, but the interest rates are high (8-15%) so we will continue applying for grants/no interest loans and hopefully squeeze in one more fundraiser.
We did receive a wonderful gift yesterday of $5,000. I feel like we are a non-profit organization when I talk about adoption funds, so forgive me if I am too revealing in all this. I just wish to encourage all you who are praying and those who may someday wish to adopt.
Here's where we stand right now financially...most adoptions that we've seen will end up costing about $20,000...we've seen three that were $10,000 or under, so that's always a possibility. However, there are also travel costs to consider, post placement fees (anywhere from $900-$2,000) and finalization costs (up to $10,000 in some cases.) So what I'm saying is, any amount that we raise is helpful and even when we reach our "goal" there will most likely be more needed.
The Breakdown of what we have now:GGAM Matching Grant $4774 (we need $113 for this grant to be fully matched)
MICAH fund matching grant $0 (they will match up to $2000)
$1300 in savings (gift money)
$7,000 if/when we need it, from generous family:)
This leaves a need for the MICAH grant to be matched, and once that is accomplished, a $7,000 deficit till we reach just over $20,000.
Still waiting to here from Show Hope and Kaitlyn's Fund granting agencies, mailing in an application tomorrow for a no-interest, low payment adoption loan from ABBA fund (this would be a huge blessing to get!!) And will be applying to Elijah's Truth next week...I can only do one application at a time, or I start losing important documents and my mind.
Ways you can help:1. Pray that we would be awarded the right grants or loans. Pray that our baby would come home before Christmas!!! Pray that our hearts, minds, bodies and souls would be ready to love and nurture this child no matter what needs he/she may have.
2. If you feel led, give by clicking the donate button to the right. Even if we end up doing a low cost ($10,000 or under) adoption, we will still need help for airfare, hotel stay(s) (while we wait to take baby home), car rental, post placement fees and finalization (the legal part to becoming the child's parents.)
3. Ideas for a benefit or fundraiser that could give a final boost to what we've raised so far.
4. Letting us talk to you about our adoption. Our hearts are full, so whenever there's something you want to know, or if you just feel nice enough to have us talk your leg off, just ask!!
While I feel that our need is pretty great at this point, there are thousands of other adoptive couples out there needing the same financial help. I would encourage you to consider adoption, but if you can't help in that way, to give to those who want to. There are some wonderful ways to give, and if you don't know anyone personally, consider giving to a granting agency! Some great ones are God's Grace Adoption Ministry, MICAH fund, Elijah's Truth and the ABBA fund. There are many, many more. What is the sacrifice when you consider what you are doing for one or many precious, helpless, children?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The Roller Coaster That We Ride
I often hear and talk about how the adoption process is like being on a roller coaster. You have many emotional highs and lows. Interestingly, at the moment, I feel that my emotions have turned off, which is a relief. I guess I must be the type of person who, unconsciously, guards against heartbreak once it's already happened. I do try to tell myself to not get excited, this might not work out, or this probably won't work out. But I find that I have to do that less and less. I feel that I'm just plodding along, muscling through giant stacks of to-do's, adoption and non-adoption related alike. When we are presented with each situation, there is always a catch...you're one of many families, the fee is really high, the birth mom hasn't decided yet, won't decide, changes her mind, the baby's medical condition is too severe etc... The idea of one day getting our child is exciting, but I suspend my feelings until I get the door slammed...again. I guess, like I've said before, we know how to deal with the no's, because so far that's all we've gotten. I don't mean to sound like Eeyore, though:) It's a relief to not have the feelings, at this point.
We do get tired and burned out though. The things we have had to do, the appointments, the hoops we jump, both to try and get enough funds and to try to convince others that we would make great parents to this or that child is exhaustive, when it's all piled up with our other labors. So, this last weekend, we were finally able to escape, just the three of us, to our favorite place in the whole world. It was beautiful, the weather was, for the most part, lovely, and we got to do everything we wanted to do. It did involve lots of driving, about 12 hours total, so during the road hours we logged, we listened to a book that I would highly recommend. It is called "In A Heartbeat" and it's by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy. As they talk about their adopted son, Michael, Dan and I both tear up. It's both encouraging and galling. Encouraging to hear a success story of a wonderful, loving union between a family and it's newest member. Galling because it just makes our hearts ache to hold our new baby!!
We did hear from our caseworker today that there is a new situation. We haven't made the decision on whether to move ahead with this one yet. There are two things to consider. First, on Friday there will be a meeting that will determine the baby in FL's future. They have four families, and my understanding is that whoever is involved in his well-being will decide who the best candidate is and whether any family doesn't fit the bill. They won't decide where to place him yet, just basically make a list from best to worst. When we hear where we fall on that list, we will know better how to proceed with this new baby.
This new baby was born August 9th:) He has a deleted chromosome, so they are expecting him to be special needs, though what that special need might be, we have no idea. Even with this, the fee will be over the $20,000 mark and that may not include the placement fee! We are open to considering him besides that. He was a preemie, born at 33 weeks, but it sounds like so far he is doing great! Please pray that we would be able to make a wise decision regarding the funds. Unless we hear something this week about the two grants, we need to find out if we would be able to take out a loan. We also just found out that the financial aid that we requested for uncovered medical expenses (LuLu's pre-existing condition of nut allergies!!!) was denied, so that will factor into how well we can manage more debt. It would only be till we got the adoption tax credit, but that would not be till 2012 because of the 6 month waiting period till finalization. So we will really need to feel God's leading in this one, as the height of the fees make us hesitate.
So, you may see how, at this point, it's hard not to get caught up in the details, and not in excitement. Each situation that we have come across so far that we think "Hey, we can afford this one" has not worked out so far, so maybe the Lord has some really big miracles "up His sleeve." Adoption itself is a miracle and one thing I know, when I finally get to hold my child in my arms, I will be overwhelmed with love and thankfulness!
We do get tired and burned out though. The things we have had to do, the appointments, the hoops we jump, both to try and get enough funds and to try to convince others that we would make great parents to this or that child is exhaustive, when it's all piled up with our other labors. So, this last weekend, we were finally able to escape, just the three of us, to our favorite place in the whole world. It was beautiful, the weather was, for the most part, lovely, and we got to do everything we wanted to do. It did involve lots of driving, about 12 hours total, so during the road hours we logged, we listened to a book that I would highly recommend. It is called "In A Heartbeat" and it's by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy. As they talk about their adopted son, Michael, Dan and I both tear up. It's both encouraging and galling. Encouraging to hear a success story of a wonderful, loving union between a family and it's newest member. Galling because it just makes our hearts ache to hold our new baby!!
We did hear from our caseworker today that there is a new situation. We haven't made the decision on whether to move ahead with this one yet. There are two things to consider. First, on Friday there will be a meeting that will determine the baby in FL's future. They have four families, and my understanding is that whoever is involved in his well-being will decide who the best candidate is and whether any family doesn't fit the bill. They won't decide where to place him yet, just basically make a list from best to worst. When we hear where we fall on that list, we will know better how to proceed with this new baby.
This new baby was born August 9th:) He has a deleted chromosome, so they are expecting him to be special needs, though what that special need might be, we have no idea. Even with this, the fee will be over the $20,000 mark and that may not include the placement fee! We are open to considering him besides that. He was a preemie, born at 33 weeks, but it sounds like so far he is doing great! Please pray that we would be able to make a wise decision regarding the funds. Unless we hear something this week about the two grants, we need to find out if we would be able to take out a loan. We also just found out that the financial aid that we requested for uncovered medical expenses (LuLu's pre-existing condition of nut allergies!!!) was denied, so that will factor into how well we can manage more debt. It would only be till we got the adoption tax credit, but that would not be till 2012 because of the 6 month waiting period till finalization. So we will really need to feel God's leading in this one, as the height of the fees make us hesitate.
So, you may see how, at this point, it's hard not to get caught up in the details, and not in excitement. Each situation that we have come across so far that we think "Hey, we can afford this one" has not worked out so far, so maybe the Lord has some really big miracles "up His sleeve." Adoption itself is a miracle and one thing I know, when I finally get to hold my child in my arms, I will be overwhelmed with love and thankfulness!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Conclusion To This Chapter
The birth couple have made their decision and it is not us. They said they liked us but the other couple had family in Dallas (where they're from) so they chose them. I'm so glad we know, now we can go on vacation for a few days and just be distracted and enjoy one another! Thanks to all who prayed about this situation! Please continue to pray as we will be applying for more grants and finally shipping out our profile books! We have decided to try out working with an agency that has a $20,000 fee since we have received a matching grant from MICAH (we have held off doing that till now, we're not leaving our current agency). So look out, more fundraising to come! Our goal will be $2,000, if we can raise that then the grant will be fully matched!!
We are dissapointed, but we can't really be too sad, because we now know that this wasn't our baby. It may be the waiting baby in FL, it may be another child altogether!
We are dissapointed, but we can't really be too sad, because we now know that this wasn't our baby. It may be the waiting baby in FL, it may be another child altogether!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Continuing the Interview
We had our phone call with the birth parents this afternoon. Dan and I were on speaker at his work, while the birth parents were on one line and their caseworker on another. It was a bit awkward, as there were pauses where none of the five of us were speaking. We felt that we didn't have many questions for them at this point because what we want to know wouldn't matter till/if they choose us. So, we answered their questions (the father did most of the talking) to the best of our ability. I can say this for the young man, he didn't give anything away in response to our answers. Totally calm and cool, no indication of whether it was being well-received or not. Let me tell you, it is tough to have a phone call with someone you've never met. You can't see their face to know what they're thinking, and this is a rather important topic that we were discussing!!
Later, (about 15 minutes) we received an email from our caseworker. Their caseworker had wanted to pass along the info that she thought we had "done a good job" in the conversation. Good adoptive parents, good!!:) We hope for the decision soon. We pray for peace with the outcome.
Later, (about 15 minutes) we received an email from our caseworker. Their caseworker had wanted to pass along the info that she thought we had "done a good job" in the conversation. Good adoptive parents, good!!:) We hope for the decision soon. We pray for peace with the outcome.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Nail Biter
Ok, well, we just heard from our caseworker moments ago...the birthparents of the baby in TX have narrowed it down to us and one other family. They wanted to know if we would do annual visits (us going down there.) We said yes. We will be having a phone conversation with them before they make their decision (AHHH!!!) Please pray that the Lord would give us peace and clarity right now and prepare us for whatever their decision may be!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Newsflash
Hi everyone!
Just wanted to quickly let you all know that another situation has arisen for us. The two-year-old girl is going to be placed with another foster family, eventually to be adopted by them. However, a while back I mentioned two little boys in foster care in Florida. Well, we have finally heard back about one of them and we are very excited and encouraged by this news! We are one of a few other families interested in adopting him (he is 19 months old) so there will be a committee held to decide where he will go.
Our profile will be shown to the birth parents of the October baby on Thursday. After waiting so long, it is exciting to have options, but we have to be very guarded because we now feel torn. We are totally trusting the Lord, that He will lead us right to the perfect baby for our family! We trust that the timing of the commitee and the birth parents' decision will work out just right! It could take months before the committee is held for the little boy in foster care, or it could take weeks.
Also, for both of these adoptions we are almost fully funded!! This is great, however, we do not have a guarantee that either will work out. We have an interview with a granting agency on Saturday, and while this is great, we also feel uncomfortable not knowing if we will need the money or not! Of course, the money would not be issued if we didn't need it, but it would just be easier to know for sure beforehand, which of course, most likely will not happen. So, again, we are praying and would ask that you pray also that the Lord leads us in these matters, because only He knows where we will end up!
Just wanted to quickly let you all know that another situation has arisen for us. The two-year-old girl is going to be placed with another foster family, eventually to be adopted by them. However, a while back I mentioned two little boys in foster care in Florida. Well, we have finally heard back about one of them and we are very excited and encouraged by this news! We are one of a few other families interested in adopting him (he is 19 months old) so there will be a committee held to decide where he will go.
Our profile will be shown to the birth parents of the October baby on Thursday. After waiting so long, it is exciting to have options, but we have to be very guarded because we now feel torn. We are totally trusting the Lord, that He will lead us right to the perfect baby for our family! We trust that the timing of the commitee and the birth parents' decision will work out just right! It could take months before the committee is held for the little boy in foster care, or it could take weeks.
Also, for both of these adoptions we are almost fully funded!! This is great, however, we do not have a guarantee that either will work out. We have an interview with a granting agency on Saturday, and while this is great, we also feel uncomfortable not knowing if we will need the money or not! Of course, the money would not be issued if we didn't need it, but it would just be easier to know for sure beforehand, which of course, most likely will not happen. So, again, we are praying and would ask that you pray also that the Lord leads us in these matters, because only He knows where we will end up!
Friday, September 2, 2011
More situations!
I will just briefly outline what we heard about today...
First Situation
Baby girl, due in October. Considered possible special needs. Fees should be around $5000 although we're not sure if we would be able to use our grant money for this one. We'll be sending them a letter, per their request, and our profile book. They'll be the first birth parents to be looking at it!
Second Situation
Toddler aged 2(the email says she's two but the DOB was typed as 2007)?? Girl, healthy. Not sure if this could work for us because she's in Michigan and apparently they want her to be able to continue contact with the family she's staying with now. Biological baby sibling due in one month, expected to be taken from the biological home because of drugs.
There is a mixture of heartache and hope in each of these girls' lives, please pray for them tonight. We will let you know if/when we hear anything about these children. Again, it is such a blessing to be finding out any new situations, but the added adrenaline does not help us to wait, it makes it a bit more difficult to control our impatience.
First Situation
Baby girl, due in October. Considered possible special needs. Fees should be around $5000 although we're not sure if we would be able to use our grant money for this one. We'll be sending them a letter, per their request, and our profile book. They'll be the first birth parents to be looking at it!
Second Situation
Toddler aged 2(the email says she's two but the DOB was typed as 2007)?? Girl, healthy. Not sure if this could work for us because she's in Michigan and apparently they want her to be able to continue contact with the family she's staying with now. Biological baby sibling due in one month, expected to be taken from the biological home because of drugs.
There is a mixture of heartache and hope in each of these girls' lives, please pray for them tonight. We will let you know if/when we hear anything about these children. Again, it is such a blessing to be finding out any new situations, but the added adrenaline does not help us to wait, it makes it a bit more difficult to control our impatience.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Latest
Brief of the latest:
We were able to send in that grant application after all!! Thanks Show Hope, for bending the rules just a bit for us!! Please pray that if it's the Lord's will that we will get this grant, and they give up to $10,000!!!
I am also in the process of applying to MICAH fund and feel rather confident about this one. It would limit what race of child we could adopt, but we are comfortable with that, since AA babies are considered hard to place.
We did get another notification of yet another baby boy. He was due very soon, with a placement fee of $11,000. His mother decided to parent. She is in trouble though, and this family will need prayers to combat substance abuse and the need to use foster care. I'm not sure how she will manage, but they both need our prayers!!
That's it so far...it's nice to finally be hearing of possibilities!
We were able to send in that grant application after all!! Thanks Show Hope, for bending the rules just a bit for us!! Please pray that if it's the Lord's will that we will get this grant, and they give up to $10,000!!!
I am also in the process of applying to MICAH fund and feel rather confident about this one. It would limit what race of child we could adopt, but we are comfortable with that, since AA babies are considered hard to place.
We did get another notification of yet another baby boy. He was due very soon, with a placement fee of $11,000. His mother decided to parent. She is in trouble though, and this family will need prayers to combat substance abuse and the need to use foster care. I'm not sure how she will manage, but they both need our prayers!!
That's it so far...it's nice to finally be hearing of possibilities!
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