Inspiration

Something that inspires me... Families that intentionally adopt special needs kids, especially the ones that will be special needs for life. Isaiah 6:8 "And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” Almost every time I think about the global orphan crisis, I think and pray this verse. Here am I, whatever I'm worth to you Lord, pour me out. My arms are open. My heart is ready! In a small or big way, use me!! There is so much out there that echoes this yearning in my heart. Other family's stories, music, themes in sermons and books and verses. This is from MercyMe, called "Won't You Be My Love?" I can't get the link to work but if you search for this song on YouTube you'll find it. "She's just a few days old a helpless little girl with no family of her own she is not to blame for the journey she is on she is not a mistake won't you lead her to my cross?" This is right where my heart is. Right here. Love has been on my mind a lot. Probably because, as a parent, we say it and act it out. I love you in the morning, I love you when you're sweet, I love you when you're sassy, I love you at bedtime and when you're asleep. And no matter what happened that day, when you see those cherubic lashes resting our round, baby cheeks, they still fool you into thinking that they are perfect angels drowsing there. And as much advice, wisdom, malarchy and hype that you encounter in the world of parenting tips, in the end, loving them as perfectly as possible, teaching them how to truly love in a self-sacrificing, noble way, is, I think, the best you can possibly do. Because the true essence of our Father-God is LOVE, and if you can truly unite with God and love the way it was meant to be done, you will have accomplished the greatest goal we can have in this life. On a side note, I think another super positive way to be as a parent, is joyful. You can't be this ALL the time, but as much of the time as possible. Be excited about life, and if you're not, find a way. This is like a spiritual elixer that immediately reflects onto your children and they SOAK IT UP and literally shine! When I am happy, joyful and excited, my kids just beam, it's absolutely amazing. Incidentally, I believe this is why stress is to be avoided whenever possible, because they soak that up, too. Back to our original topic, as a parent, we do pour ourselves out. We give and give every day. But this isn't something that belongs exclusively to the realm of parents. I recently read a blog that was lots hogwash, but I got this one little gem of advice that really resonated. The gist of it was that we should, in order to really live fully, allow love to just radiate and beam out of us. As Christians, if we ALL ALWAYS did this, the world would be an absolutely transformed place. I don't do this very often at all. Especially not to annoying strangers that drive rudely on the road or stand in the middle of the grocery isle and study the shelf, blocking my way as though I were INVISIBLE:) ME, ALL IMPORTANT ME? See, all this meditation about love, and I'm still not very good at it. But somehow, letting go of petty annoyances, from 5 year old who is bored and wants to get a reaction out of mom, or from a 55 year old who should know better, and just loving people is better for you, and, of course, better for everyone else. I'm not saying let criminals out of jail and just love them, but you get my point. We go around irritating each other like pieces of sandpaper, but instead of letting it inflame, maybe we should be letting it refine. And the last little pebble that has been rolling around my brain lately has to do with refining. Because my desire to parent orphaned, hurting and abandoned children is so strong, as well as to parent a small army of them (this is not fully tongue in cheek, I think I might be serious about that), my patience is tried. We have not yet finalized, but we did receive placement nearly 8 months ago, and two just does not feel like the perfect number:) Especially when I see how many millions of little angels there are out there that just need a person like me. Nothing special, amazing or unique, just an average midwestern mama that knows how to make pancakes and give big hugs. And maybe knows a thing or two about therapeutic parenting:) Not to mention the world's most amazing daddy who not only can cuddle and read books at the same time, but gives super fun tractor rides! But then I think back and realize how long we waited for Harrison. We waited, really, since the time we first wanted to adopt, 3.5 years ago. And all that waiting and preparing, I do feel, has created some pretty amazingly deep feelings of appreciation and thankfulness for my son. Not that I wouldn't be thankful for him had we received placement right when we felt the call, or right at the beginning of our actual process, but somehow, the waiting makes me savor every time I get to feed, hold, bathe, play with or kiss my baby son. So maybe the Lord will stay us in this holding pattern for a while, to build up that incredible well of emotion and gratitude. Maybe that is part of our refining as parents. Or maybe the Lord has opened up a door that we are to walk through right away again. There is a photo, and we are praying. More than anything, this little one, and many others, need a family. But, what I have found is that it always takes a miracle. It takes a miracle for each of these to be perfectly set into the family that they were meant for. Thankfully, we serve the God of Many Miracles. I see proof of that every. single. day. LIFE IS GOD